“He (David Letterman) said just make sure you fail doing exactly what you want to do.
He told me that and that’s the best advice you can give someone going into this big scary project.
Make sure you fail doing it exactly the way you want it, that you can live with.
When it’s someone else’s idea that kills you, that’s hard to live with.”
– Jerry Seinfeld, Blocks w/ Neal Brennan podcast
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“So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect. So we never dare to ask the universe for it. I’m saying I’m the proof that you can ask the universe for it. Please. And if it doesn’t happen for you right away, it’s only because the universe is so busy fulfilling my order. Party size.
My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”
– Jim Carrey, Commencement Speech 2014, Maharishi University of Management,
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This blog is a failure.
No one reads it.
It generates no income.
I am not a professional writer.
No one has asked me to write any of it.
There is zero demand for my work.
Yet, this is the most satisfying and fulfilling project of my life.
I love writing these posts every day.
I love that this blog gives my reading a purpose.
Every book I buy, I can justify as an investment in my writing career.
Can you have a career if no one is aware that it exists?
But if I keep doing what I love, then I daily prove I am not afraid of my ambitions for myself.
I have a body of work.
What would crush me is if I gave up writing. If I tried to justify the return on investment. If I persuaded myself my time was better spent doing something else.
However, in writing these words I reveal my fear. I am afraid to put my writing in front of other people. I am afraid to ask for the attention of others. I am afraid of potential criticism.
I would love to have a career as a writer. I would love to earn some money as a creative professional.
There, I have said it. In my public forum, where no one got the invite.
Because I write these posts for me, publishing my fears makes them real. They are a tangible target for me to face. They are no longer phantoms, but flesh and blood.
The monster you are shown is never as scary as the one you imagine is lurking around the corner.
What do I do now?
I’m not sure, but I’ll be sure to put it in writing.
Conversations With Quotations 