“I was in shock, unable to muster the kinds of inner resources that real artists use to fortify themselves when faced with such a challenge. When I teach today, I often judge young artists’ chances of survival based on whether they seem to have the character necessary to solve the inevitable problems in their work. I didn’t. I also didn’t understand how to respond to an outer world that was out of step with my inner life without retreating into total despair. Oscar Wilde said, “Without the critical faculty, there is no artistic creation at all.” Artists have to be self-critical enough not to just attack everything they do. I had self-doubt but no real self-critical facility; instead I indiscriminately loved or hated everything I did.”
– Jerry Saltz, Art Is Life
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“The aim is to remove horrors. This really takes a specific level of attention. Pigs love mud and there is a real streak of muddiness in our psyches. It can be soothing to wallow. We prefer to be stunned rather than overwhelmed. Unfortunately the variations of self-pity are the most injurious emotions we have.
Oddly enough our main weapons in controlling drinking are humor and lightness. The judgment of others and self-judgment (stern) are both contraindicatory. When we fuck up we mentally beat ourselves up. It doesn’t work at all and has to be expunged. The reason to slow down is to feel better and it works real good.”
– Jim Harrison, Off to the Side
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Life is not binary. Not a one or zero. Love or hate. Do or do not. Good or bad.
Life is nuance. There are gaps everywhere for us to inhabit and create little worlds.
I write in a tiny crack of the internet. I’m invisible from just about any perspective but right here.
I try to avoid comparisons with what others are doing. I appreciate the simplicity of the setup here.
I am not building empires. This is not writing as conquest.
It helps to have regular reminders that as much as I feel like I zoom around like a hare, my work here is the method of the consistent tortoise.
I am not in a rush. Some days my work brings me joy and satisfaction, others I know when I have compromised to hit my self imposed deadline.
But I show up. Little by little. I don’t write to excess, nor do I binge to console my shame of absence.
Here every day. Like a glass of table wine with dinner. A reliable habit rather than a weekend blowout.
Conversations With Quotations 