“The world is like a classroom of children with their heads down on their desks being obedient. When you raise your head you discover there is no teacher. All those rules, all those people to please, all that conformity and similarity that society requires of you. You suddenly come to realize that it is yourself requiring this kind of behavior. When you decide to go your own way and create a life that suits who you are, you find that no one notices or cares or if they do you don’t even notice it.”
– David Leddick, I’m Not for Everyone. Neither Are You
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“The world is always looking to reward conformity. Every age has its official line on what is real, what is good, and what is bad. A dish made up of dishonesty, ignorance, and cowardice served every evening with a serious mien and an air of highest integrity by the TV news is the ideal. Literature, too, is expected to go along with that. Your tribe is always trying to reform you and teach you manners. The poet is that kid who, standing in the corner with his back turned to his schoolmates, thinks he is in paradise.”
– Charles Simic, The Life of Images
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Conformity means adapting yourself to someone else’s mould. You twist and stoop and squeeze to fit in. No problem in the sort term. You can make it into a game. But long term all that twisting and folding will leave you crooked.
I am a quiet nonconformist. This is the art of doing as you please but not making a big fuss about it. I do not draw attention to myself: I do not expect the world to fold and adapt to my wishes.
When I was younger, I resisted my nature. I thought I wanted to be the person being written about rather than the writer. That was bullshit. I’m a born observer. I’m always hesitant to engage with the world, except from a distance and with a pen in my hand.
You can be in a meeting, or watching a presentation, and be working on your own project in your head.
A notepad is an essential tool for the passive nonconformist. You appear to be diligently taking notes, but you’re actually writing down your own thoughts, off in another world of the imagination.
The goal is not to stand up and yell, “I am not doing this!!”, but rather to blend in and get on with your own project.
If you don’t draw attention to yourself then you can get away with a lot.
Omission rather than confrontation.
It is wonderful never having to think what someone else wants you to.
No one can read our thoughts. Our minds offer the ultimate privacy away from the demands and busyness of the day. My mind is a personal refuge.
It’s nonconformity, but it’s not belligerent. I am not interested in arguing or making a scene.
I simply want to spend time in the paradise of my own mind.
Conversations With Quotations 