“When I’m upset, I don’t feel like doing anything but wallowing in it. But despite feeling that way, I brush my teeth, make healthy meals, take the kid out to play, do the dishes, pay the bills, take my vitamins, clean up, and go to bed early. These tasks are so mundane, but they help me to feel on top of things. When everyday responsibilities are done, my mind is less distracted.”

Derek Sivers, Hell Yeah or No

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“This physical aliveness and potency is one of the reasons why rituals are performed. Rituals prepare your body for the sacred and they release your energy, feelings and thoughts. They open the body to receive wisdom and clarity and to release and purge negativity.”

– Patsy Rodenburg, Presence: How to Use Positive Energy for Success in Every Situation

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Most of what I write is neither sacred nor profane. It’s simply mundane.

I must write the mundane to find out what is underneath.

I endure a slog through the slops of my mind before I find a fresh spring.

Most of what I write is boring.

In the morning I write three pages of whatever comes to mind à la Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages.

This work never sees the light of day. I’m writing a record of my mind’s struggle to rediscover itself.

After three pages I’m closer to being able to write what I think.

I’ve started to write the mundane out of my system. I’m digging a hole: I’ve gotten through the layers of shit and silt. Now I get to sift for precious metals, find gems worth keeping.

I can see a glint of something worth keeping.

Can you?

“A practice is a discipline. It’s not just the work or the art, it’s the state of mind we occupy when we pursue the work or the art.

That’s what makes the idea of a practice great. That’s what makes it worth doing from now till our final breath.

Can we aspire without ego? Can we work like hell and let the work be its own reward? Can we detach our emotions from the outcome of our enterprise … and still pursue that enterprise with all our heart?

This is not an idle question.”

– Steven Pressfield, Writing Wednesdays 27/03/24

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“Batting practice is a practice. Writing every day is a practice. Learning to see is a practice. You’re never done, and you’re never sure. We have unlimited reasons to hide our work and only one reason to share it: to be of service.”

– Seth Godin, The Practice

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Today, again, I write words on a screen.

I add some more. Soon, when I have enough, I will read them and remove those that are unnecessary, reassembling the remainder to best fit my vision.

It’s quite simple really.

No one has sat me down to give me instruction in the ancient art of blog writing.

I am an autodidact: I learn from reading my own words. I teach myself how to write by… writing.

I learn haphazardly: progress looks like a zigzag. But a zigzag always progresses. Impossible for it not to.

Practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice makes imperfect. But imperfect makes something.

I’m in the habit of making something up.

My life would be emptier without this trail of words left behind.

“Today, just three days before I turn 41, I received a $75 check from the Fresno Bee for an article I wrote about meeting my favorite writer, William Saroyan, who died three months ago. Saroyan was also my mentor. He taught me to trust myself as a writer. Here’s what he wrote in a short story called “The Genius”: “Don’t worry about style.  Just put it down on paper the way it comes to you and you’ll find it’ll be full of style. Don’t even worry about grammar. That’ll be part of your style, part of your originality.””
– Joseph Sutton, Father and Son

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“Where you end up is important; when you end up there, not so much. Here’s a list of folks who made it, but made it late: Toni Morrison was 39 when her first book, The Bluest Eyes, was published. She went on to win a Nobel Prize in literature when she was 62. Stan Lee was 39 and had no real career prospects when he wrote Fantastic Four after his wife suggested he experiment with stories he actually liked. Vera Wang was 38 when she left her cushy job as a Vogue editor to work for Ralph Lauren. At the age of 40 she set out to be an independent clothing designer. Martha Stewart was 41 when her first lifestyle-plus-cooking book was published. Steve Carell was 42 when he joined The Office. Samuel L. Jackson was 40 before he got real attention as an actor. He was 43 when he starred in Pulp Fiction. Rodney Dangerfield got his break on the Ed Sullivan Show at the tender age of 46. Jane Lynch was 40 when she acted in Christopher Guest’s mockumentaries. And she was 49 before she landed her Emmy-Award-winning role in Glee. Morgan Freeman was acting the whole time but it wasn’t until he was 50 that he found overnight success. Ray Kroc was a milkshake salesman and was 52 when he bought McDonald’s and franchised it. Christoph Waltz was 53 when international success was thrust upon him after years of solid performances on stage and television in Germany. Miguel de Cervantes was 56 when he published the first part of Don Quixote. He had a whole lot of living to do before he settled down to write full time. Harland Sanders, AKA Colonel Sanders, was 62 when he franchised Kentucky Fried Chicken after twenty years of running a restaurant and hotel.  I love that list – that list takes a lot of pressure off. It’s never too late.”

– Jimmy Carr, Before & Laughter

__________

It’s three days before I turn 41. Still no cheque in the post.

But I have started, begun the great work of my life. I’m not sure what it is yet, though since I started I haven’t stopped. I think not stopping is fundamental in figuring out what I’m supposed to be doing.

Writing is a conversation with myself. It’s important to keep open those channels.

It’s heartening to reflect on the success of those who started later in life. It’s too late for me to get excited for those precocious folk who hit their stride early in adulthood. I have passed that waypoint.

It’s never too late. I remind myself now. It’s never too late.

Keep writing.

You’ll figure it out.

If not, this is never wasted time.

“On walking: again and again (and again), the significance of the world is derived from tiny details never otherwise noted; this is the stuff from which the world may replenish itself. At the end of a day of walking, the wealth of a single day is past counting. When you walk, there is nothing between the lines; everything is in the most immediate and rabid presence: the fences, the meadows, the birds not yet fledged, the smell of newly chopped wood, the puzzlement of the deer.”

– Werner Herzog, Every Man for Himself and God Against All

__________

“Walking tends to unravel the knots in my thinking, and I’ll always recommend a leisurely stroll or even a brisk one around the block to alleviate almost any kind of mental stress.”

– Jeff Tweedy, How to Write One Song

__________

I can’t think of anything that requires so little investment for so much return than walking.

Like putting in a penny and gaining a pound in return.

All you need are the clothes you are wearing and the nearest available shoes.

No expensive equipment. No special training plans. Absolutely no preparation required.

Sometimes I start a walk all knotted up. And over the course of the walk, the gentle movement, the rhythm, twists and turns unwind the knot and I arrive home straightened out.

Simple. Miraculous. And infinitely repeatable.

“I have a mantra that goes, “Write, Revise, Advertise and Exercise.”  Write means to write in my journal or create a story.  Revise—to rework an essay, story or novel.  Advertise—to get the word out about my website and my latest book Write Now!  Exercise—to move my muscles and keep my blood flowing so I won’t be a burden to anyone in old age.”

– Joseph Sutton, My Writing Year: Making Sense of Being a Writer

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“My mantra was: Be quick and be visual. Don’t waste time talking about an idea in countless meetings; use that time on making the idea a reality. An image of the idea will either get everyone excited and on board—or it won’t.”

– Greg Hoffman, Emotion by Design: Creative Leadership Lessons from a Life at Nike

__________

Read something.

Write something.

Speak something.

Hear something.

Move something.

A nice mantra for a day well lived.

“Latent in me, I suppose, there was always the belief that writing was greater than other things, or at least would prove to be greater in the end. Call it a delusion if you like, but within me was an insistence that whatever we did, the things that were said, the dawns, the cities, the lives, all of it had to be drawn together, made into pages, or it was in danger of not existing, of never having been. There comes a time when you realize that everything is a dream, and only those things preserved in writing have any possibility of being real.”

– James Salter, Don’t Save Anything: Uncollected Essays, Articles, and Profiles

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“I must write for the simple reason that writing is vital for any feeling of well-being. I have no marked desire to see my name in print, and I certainly do not owe anything to anybody. I can go on thinking and writing at a steady pace, and let the resulting material take care of itself”

– Eric Hoffer, Working and Thinking on the Waterfront

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Writing allows us to relive our lives, to order and reflect. As a writer I can play God. I decide what gets removed from the narrative. I have a monopoly over what’s left in

This practice is entirely self propelled. My words here are akin to a training log. I can look back and track my life through these daily efforts.

Of course my life is rich with other measures, not least my family. But writing is mine alone.

This is a record of preservation. Perhaps not produced for future study, but a daily slice of my thoughts and reflections.

When my memory fails and I hesitate to recall who I used to be, the confusion can be abated by using these pages to reconstruct my self.

“To fail is to give up. But you are in the midst of a moving process. Nothing fails then. All goes on. Work is done. If good, you learn from it. If bad, you learn even more. Work done and behind you is a lesson to be studied. There is no failure unless one stops. Not to work is to cease, tighten up, become nervous and therefore destructive of the creative process.”

– Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing

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“Remember this: whatever price you pay, there’s a bigger price to pay for not doing it than the price for doing it. The price of neglect is much worse than the price of the discipline. It may take a few years to put your success on track—but it takes your entire life to fail.”

– Jeff Olson, The Slight Edge

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I don’t feel like writing today.

I’d rather sit and watch TV.

I’m not relishing the idea of sharing any part of myself.

I’m always one day away from failure. I need to commit something to this screen.

I’ve had enough inclination to partner two decent quotes that were sitting, waiting for a day like today.

They are words of reassurance. Not every day has to be perfect. I’m trying as hard as I can today. I have kept to my schedule.

I’m not especially proud of my work today.

But I haven’t stopped nor neglected my commitment to myself.

I’m still writing, moving forward.

I can be proud of that.

“Energy begets energy.”

– John Irving, The World According to Garp

__________

“Not being exhausted all the time, I’d recommend it. You don’t get tired of that.”

– Jimmy Carr, Before and Laughter

__________

Energy is a renewable resource. But as we get older we have to be more vigilant in choosing where we get it from.

It’s easy to slide into the habit of saying, “I’m so tired.”

Speaking reinforces the feeling.

I’m not sure I can walk around proclaiming “I feel great!” This would be insufferable enough to undo any benefits in mood change.

But it does feel good not to be knackered.

There’s no guarantee the sun will be shining tomorrow to provide a recharge. Other less glamorous sources need to be sought out, namely sleep and food.

A little earlier to bed. A little more crunchy veg.

Small steps.

Like anything, the more you do it, the easier it is to continue doing it.

Every scrap of extra energy gained today can be of service to us tomorrow.

Habits are the closest we can get to perpetual motion.

““It’s a good thing I ain’t scairt to be lazy,” Augustus told him once. “You may think so. I don’t,” Call said. “Hell, Call, if I worked as hard as you, there’d be no thinking done at all around this outfit. You stay in a lather fifteen hours a day. A man that’s always in a lather can’t think nothin’ out.””

– Larry McMurtry, Lonesome Dove

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“Work is what horses die of. Everybody should know that.”

– Aleksander Solzhenitsyn, One Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich

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Sure hard work is important. Nothing can really be achieved without it. But before we harness ourselves up shouldn’t the question be raised, “why am I doing this?”

Perhaps those who are compelled to overwork are trying to not stop. Maybe the stopping would lead to an unwelcome confrontation with themself.

Work can be an escape. A way of hiding from self discovery. A life of perpetual motion. But for what purpose?

Having time to think can lead to hard truths. But it helps us get closer to ourselves. Reflected time is rarely wasted.

I’m happy to sit back and watch the horses run themselves into a lather.

Not everything needs to be worked out, I’m a fan of stretching out and letting my mind wander.

“Although we live in an age of specialisation, where years of study are required to become a technician or mathematician, few would-be writers seem to recognise that their trade requires an equally long self-discipline.”

– Colin Wilson, Dreaming to Some Purpose

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“Good process must not only make the work better but also make you better. Excellence arises from refining good process—how can I do this better, or easier, or with less waste? It’s a job, like preparation, that never ends.”

– Dan Charnas, Work Clean

__________

I like to approach my writing as one who has no special gifts.

I’ve not been told, “you are a great writer, you should share your work.”

I’ve not been discoveted. I must discover myself.

I want to get better. I realise improvement only happens by doing. I cannot dream or will myself to be a better writer. It’s trial and error. Adding and subtracting. A practice of refinement.

I’ll never be as good as I want to be.

That’s OK, I’m patient.

I’ll get there in the end. And if not, at least I get to write trying.